aerial life

Dh lame xformat pc.... hantar kedai, hantar kat kawan semua lepas format je ade rase xcukup, xpuas hati... xleh install apps la driver la... last2 buat sendiri baru puas hati... rugi je bayar kt org lain. Buat memain je....buat sendiri baru puas hati...cuma membazir masa je la...

     There are so many things in my mind right now but I don't know how to write them all in here.They are jumbled up like thousand pieces of  jigsaw puzzle and I can't even identify the first piece on the board. All the pieces look familiar yet I can't recognised even a piece of it. Like always it sounds gibberish that even I cannot fathom what I'm writing right now. I never planned anything I write here, it just comes out from my mind through my dancing fingers on the keyboard.            Ohhhh I'm trying to narrow down what I'm writing now but it seems that my brain is malfunction and I can't come out with a topic at all. All this may be  due to lack of sleep. I can't sleep since yesterday and I don't even know why do these two eyelids cannot glued themselves together and let me have my peace in the dreamland.  Should I stop now?... I still can't sleep if I stop now so I think I should just keep going until my face ...

Bought some photo's yesterday....they were cheap but they are nice enough to be hang on my wall. Hmm I want to hang my own stuffs after this...need to get out more and shoot that DSLR.....

I got a hamper in the lucky draw of the PIBG meeting. The hamper was not big and expensive but I was happy because it had been so long since I won anything.  The first time I won something was when I was in standard two. I won this 'saguhati' prize from a magazine. It was just a notebook. A plain stupid notebook that looked cheap and not interesting. The second time was when i was still in college. A lucky draw after an event. I had never been so lucky in my life. Usually i don't get anything from any contest. When I was in secondary school, I entered hundreds of contests and I never won any of them. Oh oh recently I entered the perodua contest. Not really like a contest. Just fill in a form and give it at the counter. Only the customer who paid more than RM200 can enter the contest. I didn't put hope in it but when the girl at the counter said "good luck" on the contest, I was like thrill!!...I don't know why but it felt good when somebody wish you somet...

just an update... This year is not like any other year. I have to do things that I avoided in my school day. I became the Head teacher for 'scouts'. that mean I have to go for camping and build campfire and be friend with nature and all. When I was in School I never been camping. Oh oh maybe one time when I was in standard 4 and two times when I was in college. I had been reluctant all those times but I managed to do all the activities. It's not that I don't know how to make up the tents or starts a fire. I just don't like them. Jungle trekking and all those physical activities were not that hard but I just don't like to do them. I don't like to queue up just to take a bath, sleeps together in a tent or doing all those group work. Oh oh and I don't like sleeping in a tent. Ohhh and when you have to share a tent with two or three people cramping in that small space...How could anyone sleeps..?..When I was in secondary school, I had been to 'Koku' ...

It's been a while since I wrote the last post. I don't know why but I just don't know what to write anymore. A lot of things happened but there were just no words to describe the events. I'm going to be 27 years old this Saturday. I feel old. Wahahaha....I intend to get married before I'm 30 but now I don't know if I would be able to fulfill that plan of mine. I have nobody right now and that makes it hard to live on the plan. I do not want to get married just because I want to get married. I want to get married because I want to marry that special woman. Ohh am I sounded grumpy and delusional ??..haha...Oh oh I better stop now.....I don't want to write craps and make a fool of myself...A loser like me have nothing but pride...if that pride is gone then I have nothing...so let me keep my sanity for a while as that's the only pride I have now......Ohh I sounded like a lunatic one more time...shhhh.. Stop! stop!..people gonna think I'm crazy...huhu

Lying has always been my game. If there is one thing that I'm good at, it's lying.....Lying is not easy...its like art. You need to use your imagination and make it looks real enough so that it's easy to believe it. Lie like you believe it too. I have never get caught lying but that maybe because I never lied when I don't need to...lying has been the tool to get out of a problem or a situation where I cant get out...Oh oh but in this shit I'm in now....lying would not get me anywhere. so, for once in my life...I'll try to be honest in getting out of the shit....oh oh but I need that persuasion skill more than ever now huhuhuhuuhu...

I'm in deep shit now and I can't find the way out of the shit. The smell is killing me and I can't hold my breath anymore. I won't breath in this shit and I might die for not doing so. P/s...wow my horoscope today sounded good.... The Bottom Line Don't be tricked by false memories. The past is never as perfect as you remember. In Detail You've been playing around with a certain hobby for a while, and it's suddenly dawned on you that you really and truly might be able to make a full-time job of this -- or at least a part-time source of income. It's a good idea and you shouldn't dismiss it. You might, however, want to come up with a solid plan before you quit your day job, that is. Get out some legal pads and start scribbling.

It's a boring life. I don't get exited over anything anymore. I thought this is the life I was meant to live but I was wrong. This mask I put on is too thick that I don't feel anything anymore. There are people around me that regards me as friend but I just don't know what is friendship anymore. I am and empty shell. There is no one behind this mask. It is just a thick mask. A mask that has nothing to hide. A mask that that is only a mask.

lagu lame yang aku suke....dari Louis Armstrong... Gimme a kiss to build a dream on And my imagination Will thrive upon that kiss Sweetheart, I ask no more than this A Kiss to build a dream on Give me a kiss before you leave me and my imagination will feed my hungry heart Leave me one thing before we part A kiss to build a dream on When I'm alone with my fancies I'll be with you Weaving romances Making believe they're true Oh, gimme your lips for just a moment and my imagination will make that moment live Give me what you alone can give A kiss to build a dream on Gimme a kiss to build a dream on And my imagination Will thrive upon that kiss Sweetheart, I ask no more than this A Kiss to build a dream on Give me a kiss before you leave me and my imagination will feed my hungry heart Leave me one thing before we part A kiss to build a dream on When I'm alone with my fancies I'll be with you Weaving romances Making believe they're true Oh, gimme your lips for just a...

I was bitten by a poisonous dragonfly....now my name is Scar........ **Oh oh this pic scared me....was playing with adobe....

I'm enjoying coke right now in front of the lappy. just came back from the new school. Yup, I'm going to be teaching in different school next year. Bigger school, larger crowd, more students, more work and different politic game. I'm not talking about the politic in the country, I'm talking about politic in the workplace....oh oh i'm tired of workplace politic... Nevertheless, nobody can run off from such thing. They will be ass suckers, bossy seniors, babbling clerk, meddling parents, and there will be strict head master whose butt will be shining from the suckers.....oh oh they will be strict attire code too...hmmmmmmmmmmmmm..tired.. oh oh i should be positive but I been there two times and that the first thing caught on my mind....That what I saw for those two times I was there....Shit....!!! I should be neutral....I'll try to be neutral...won't get caught in those dirty games of them....Oh oh...i donno...Hmmmmmm will see, will see.....it's still too...

I cant say that I'm in favour of all the government campaigns but this one I'm totally in with. The colour of skins, religion and all should not be the problems in living together as a community but we have been taught indirectly by our parents that way. Not on purpose but its like a thing in the mind that set the our way of lives.....The SJK(C) and SJK(T) schools just dont help us get along too....Why not just one school for all....hmmmmm waitta minute...I wrote bout this before...oh oh...hmmm I should not write it again...oh well you know what I mean and you can interpret what I mean...I think...oh ok I don't wanna think...I wanna watch anime...bye hahahahahah... A P/S:..I was so eager to write then I lost interest...hehe

HAahahahahah tah sape yang buat...memang lucu rrr....geliga pale hotak hang no!!

I'm dead bored of this life....I'd been this way for so long...there were times where I thought of suicide but I know how stupid it is and I never tried it. The life I'm going through is fake...I am fake...this is not the life I want to live in. That does not mean that the life I'm going through now is wrong. The life that I want is totally wrong and hell is the end. I am trying my best for heaven and with what I have now it is never enough for heaven. All I could do is to pray everyday for forgiveness from god and mercy for me to taste heaven. I need to do more deeds and be kinder to people around me. I want heaven yes I want it. Heaven is eternity and the life we're going through now is only temporary. I'll rather suffer for awhile in this earth than to be condemn forever in hell. I will endure all the pain now. I'll pray and pray without stop that the challenges in this temporary earth are not hard.

bile cinta xberbalas boleh menjadi benci...kat tv pun selalu tunjuk macm tu...bile cinta yang diberi xberbalas bermacam balasan yang yang diperlakukan oleh hati yang luka....walopun hanya drama TV tp ade kebenarannye..... Bagaimanakah menghadapinye? patutkah yang dibenci hanya duduk diam xberkata ape?....hmmmm tp kalo benci yang datang dri perasaan sayang ni selalunye berlarutan sampai mati....aku harap aku xkan ade perasaan macam ni...xtergamak aku nak membenci...hanya akan membusukkan hati aku...bile hati dah busuk orang pun akan lari...orang akan dapat menghidu bau busuk tu dan xkan tertahan....bile hati dah busuk adekah amalan kite diterima tuhan?.....aku pun xtau la nak menjawab persoalan ini...aku bukan orang yang alim.... selalunye bile seseorang dah membenci kerane cinta ni susah nak diubati...xkire walo ape pun yang dibenci buat untuk mengubatnye........hanya tuhan yang dapat membuka hati yang membenci untuk berubah.... sabar......jawapannye sabar le kot....sabar dan jangan me...

Silverleaf... carry me away from this place... I won't be able to make it through... we'll come back when we have the strength...

If you ask me what I think of you...you'll be sad. I think you are delusional. You think people talk about you in your back. I got news for you my dear pathetic friend. We don't care that much bout you. I used to pity you. That was my biggest mistake ever. I should just let you be. Maybe you were happier that way. Now you are getting on my nerves. If you want to bad mouth me, don't do it in this park. I been here longer than you. even the trees know me. Hmm I'll do you a favor. I hope you'll be happy with it. I'll let you reign in this park. let me go find new place. You can build a circus now. you can recruit clowns, fire-eater, singing dogs, and all those that can entertain you... Good luck.. or should I say 'Good riddance'

people wear shields to protect their heart from getting hurt...they wear it valiantly and proudly to hide what is inside...they are some that are colorful, some have it in grey and some in blacks...usually they all look strong and well build with various shapes..but I have a fortress...made of gold and various gems...colorful and inviting...shimmering to the eyes...make you want to touch it over and over again...feel the smoothness of the wall...pretty gems mesmerizing the eyes...made you wonder what is inside..... Inside... foul thing dark as the night...serpents slithering around with hisses without stop...this fortress is not to keep what outside from coming in but to cage the wretched things inside from getting out...don't sneak in or you'll be swallow in the realm of darkness...

I posted so many ridiculous entry lately... imagination overflow...nothing was quite real...Think I should stop...maybe I ought to write a book...hmmmm I am not quite sure how should I started it...my vocabulary is limited and I got poor style of writing...I think its going to be fine as it will never be publish... What will I write about..? I am going to write about a group of agents who called themselves The Invisible Masquerade...They are people that corrected what are wrong in the world. I will tell about a character in the Invisible Masquerade. He was assign to a dark country where the ruler is a cruel man that reign for 100 years...there have been shadow masquerade before that attempt to corrected the country but all have failed....hmmm the world in this book will be different from our world..its not like our modern world and not medieval too...its like the Tanah Melayu...so just imagine the place like that...Ohhh and there will be creatures of the dark and cursed and magic...hmm...