Monday, February 12, 2018

Negative vibes

I must be evil or something. I felt envy  in my heart every time I scroll down instagram. I see happiness, success, warmth, wealth, health, family, joy, togetherness, adventures, laughter, smiles, appreciation and many positive attributes that made me feel like I achieved nothing of them...

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

I know love...

I know love. It is a torture.
I know love. It is cruel.
I know love. It is demanding.
I know love. It is a burden.
I know love but love don't know me.

Love don't stick with me.
Love always leave me.
Love don't give me a chance.
Love just don't love me.


What will be my legacy if I die tomorrow?

No deeds to remember by.

No wealth left behind.

No knowledge written.

No success to be proud off.

I will be just like a breeze. Blowing softly and forgotten.


I'm Mr.Nobody.
Have nothing to offer.
I don't have good looks that you can adore.
No muscular body you can touch.
My hair is balding.
Pot belly is showing.
Smoke cigarettes non-stop.
Not the slightest romantic.
No brain. An idiot with ego showing like I know everything.
No wealth and have debts.
Not handy for carpentry or any house maintenance.
Ugly handwriting.
A coward.
Too laidback.
Not pious enough to lead you to heaven.
Don't know how to play any music instruments.
Can't sing to a tempo.
No fashion sense.
I don't exercise regularly.
Not good in any sports.
Don't read anything good anymore.
Foul mouth.
Can't cook a proper meal.
Can't dance.
Like to sleep but not at the right time.
Cheapskate but sometimes a shopaholic.
I'm not Mr.Nobody. I'm Mr.Terrible.

Sunday, October 22, 2017

What is the price of happiness???

I.... am easily satisfied with what I have and achieved even when to you it looked like nothing. I don't care how much money you made in your life or what kind of car you drive. I drive a simple and cheap car and I am satisfy with the car. I don't envy other people with better, bigger, faster and more expensive cars. I'll buy what I can afford and I will be satisfy with it....

mannnnnnnn.... why did I suddenly have the urge to write after a lonnnnnng time????? well, because I felt discontent by people around me.

I bought a watch recently and I like it. It is not very expensive but to my standard of living, it is quite a sum of saving. People kept asking the price when they saw the watch and I would just say... Ohhh not that much or expensive and then they will relate to their friend's watch or somebody else they know... "ohhhh my friend bought a 20K watch.... Oh My friend have a Rolex.... oh. Those people you talk about can afford the expensive watches and good for them... why do you want to compare them to me... I'm not in the same league with your rich friends... Can't you just say..." Oh that is a nice watch.".... why everything needs to be compare..???...oh and those expensive watches are your friend's not can't afford those watches yourselves too..... and I don't give a damn about your friends luxurious life...

Oh my.... I am rambling like stupid here. wellllll, nobody reads this blog so what the HELL should I care !!!!.... hahahahahhhahah


Monday, September 4, 2017

New chapter in my life

I've decided to continue my study at UPSI. This will be my third sem but I need to repeat 2 papers I failed last sem. I did terrible last sem and there were many things I blamed on for all the faillure but in the end it s me who determined the success or failure of my life. I PROMISE to do better this semester. I wantnto get as many A's as I can get.... before my target was only to pass all the subjects but now my target is to get the best I can.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017


Just want to give up. Tired of all the fuss. I want to be free of responsibility. I just want to live for me and not others.

Friday, January 27, 2017

Sleeplessness all year round

I forsaken God but God haven't forsaken me. I am a sinner. Repeatedly over and over again but I still feel the grace of God. I am grateful and have the urge to change my way of life. I have been postponing the remake of me for so long... I do want to change but I always find reasons to postpone the changes.

Monday, July 6, 2015

Duty and honour

Oh please let me sleep tonight. I want to be wide awake tomorrow at day. Let me be free of the web entangling me from my duty as a human.

Normal and grumpy

Nights and days pass like normal. It is I who is not normal. Sleeping all days and at nights my eyes are wide awake. If I am a vampire or some sort of a supernatural being then this might be normal. I possess all the human weaknesses and neither of the strengths nor do I have any inhuman power as well. I am just a man who is always grumpy...

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