aerial life

I applied for transfer and it was approved. I love my co-workers but I need to change for me. I am stuck at the age of 21 for 13 years... need to be in new skin... act my age... be a better man. I know people would say I could do all that in the same place but it is hard when everybody knows you like what you are and tend to treat you the same... I want to change. The new workplace could be better or worse than now but that is secondary... first I need to be better no matter what kind of challenges awaits me in the new workplace.

I been smoking for fifteen years now and I'm sick of it. I tried to quit for quite sometimes now but the habit is hard to kick. I tried vaping two years ago but uhhh the nicotine is not enough to stop smoking. I quit vaping faster than I thought... now I'm trying again but with bigger better vape... The taste of the liquid  is tastier and the clouds of vapour is thicker... hope I could quit smoking this time... ohh the troubled with vaping is the maintenance... need to rebuild and recoiled the atomizer... I'm getting the hand of it now... Hope I would be able to quit smoking this time...

I can play the game better than you. If you think you can kick me out from the game than you are dead wrong. I have my way to get to you. You might have the experience and the power but I have the determination to survive this war. By hooked or more likely by crooked like you are, I'll get you...

Years ago I said I want to change. Yet I am still the same. I forgot every wishes and resolution when luck is by my side. Now that luck has runs out, bad things fall upon me like rain after a long hot dry drought. No where to run anymore. Have to face them head on. Like a charging hornless bull. It is going to hurt badly. Very badly. It is the consequences I have to take. I cannot blame it on others even if I wanted to.

私は兄弟がいる。彼は麻薬中毒です。彼は私のお金を盗んだとの距離クアラルンプールを実行します。彼は彼と私のバイクを取った。私は彼と一緒に行うにはわ からない。彼は他の悪いことを盗んで警察に逮捕されていた。私は恐れて、彼は別の罪を自分のバイクを使って行うとしている午前 彼は私に恥をもたらすでしょう。私はこの文章を読んで私の友達をしたくないので、私は日本語の文章で書いています。夜今のところ良好です。私は常に私は、 悲しみと怒り不安を感じて書いてください。

Yes I am going to make a fool of myself....CeHHH!! Why did I fell for this.....A teacher in my new school is going to retire tomorrow....It's her last day tomorrow....she sang this Frank Sinatra song last Monday and a music teacher of the school ask me to sing that song tomorrow for her while he plays the keyboard.......OHHhhhhhh I'm going to make such a fool of myself tomorrow...........here, listen to this video...I tried it out in my room.....forgive me if it gives you nightmares hahaha.... rase mcm ade hingus dalam idung....nyanyi cam org kene selseme je.....padehei aku idok selseme pun...agoknye org len memg dengo sore aku mcm org kene selseme kot...................

This year is very new to me. everything changed and the routine that I babbled and hated so much is gone. It's a new start and I do not want to repeat the same mistake I'd done before. Today is the 16th day of this new life and I still did not figured out how I should sorted everything in the right way. I am still a procrastinator and that should be changed to. I am trying my best to make a good use of this new life I bought. The price was high. The price was my freedom.... p/s....Oh oh by the way, the pics up there are not the picture of someone being an angel or anything.......it's someone lost in the jungle and hopes that he had starbucks's ice blended and wings to fly out the jungle.......

I can control the king, the queen, the rook, the knight and the bishop to engage a war....but, It's not something worth it....I let you win. You are so keen on winning, so take it.....enjoy it!!

The image was goggled and taken from "http://www.hecklerspray.com/date/2007/11" Baa baa black sheep Have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir Three bags full. One for my master, One for my dame, And one for the little boy Who lives down the lane. One to the master, One to the dame, And one to the little boy Who lives down the lane. Baa baa black sheep Have you wool today? No sir, no sir I’ve given it away. A bag to my master, A bag to my dame, A bag to the little boy Who lives down the lane. One to the master One to the dame, And one to the little boy Who lives down the lane. Its been a few days since I wrote anything here. No, I did not go for BTN too ...hehe... The black sheep is back in town....Its not nice to label him that but its the most accurate words to describe him. By him I mean my elder brother. I don't know if I should write this at all. It is like opening a big dark secret to the public. But, this...

nope....they can't...maybe yes until one of them got married...maybe in some rare cases there are people of difference gender just become friends but not in my case... I got this woman-friend who I was closed with. She is the nice person kind of a lady. A goody two shoes. Not my taste of girl but some one I can be close to as friend(Am I explaining too long). Let us say that we just do not have the attraction to each other as a couple. We belong as friend and that's all. Maybe we got a thingy before but every time I was free she got some one and vice versa until the day where I was free and she got engaged. We were closed but we know where the line is and we never crossed that line(I think I'm babbling and no one would understand me now). We were closed and her family knows me and I was like the family friend. One day she got engaged and I was fine with that and we still remained friends. The day she got married everything changes. I started to shy away because as a man I k...

Mind the title of this entry... I just felt like writing but had nothing in mind. I put on a new picture for the header...It was taken by a friend and it's the only picture that I don't look saggy and plump... haha.... I just want to thank padlah and shah for all their comments. I really appreciated them. Its half past three and I'm sitting in front of the pc now wasting the taste of a nice sleep...I just can't sleep and I don't really have anything to write. I am babbling yes I know....hahahaha its like My mind is block....I just don't know what to write...Ohhh I should stop now before I drive anyone crazy....good bye... P/S..Oh my sister is up too....she's reading a book for her class tomorrow....Rajin beno kakak aku ni.... kontra betoi ngan aku.....

I don't really remember the correct date....I can look at the summon but I'm too lazy to fetch it now. I was riding my motorcycle to town. I didn't have my car yet then. I met with a road block by JPJ. I thought that I had no worries because I had everything. I got the license and my roadtax was still new. I was dead wrong. The officer was finding fault with everything. He checked my plate number. He measured the front plate. He said "Nombot pendaftaran ni tak ikut skala yang ditetapkan".....I said that I never changed the plate since the day I drag out that bike from the shop but he wasn't really care to hear what I said. He said " Camane nak setel ni?"...He's asking for bribery... I was angry....I never bribe any officer before and I hate when anyone asks me for a bribe.... So I said to his face....."kalo nak saman, saman je la nape nak banyak cakap plak"....Goshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that's a stupid move. He issued the sommon. I didn...

This was my weight when I was In Maktab. My Ideal weight for my height. Now its not ideal. I am trying to loose some weight now. I eat the same but need to exercise.

need to sleep now... there'll be a long battle tomorrow...

Thank you Shah - a lifetime saga for the tag....I'll answer the questions in the tag as sincere as I can... 1. What have you been doing recently? I done nothing but to fatten myself.... 2. Do you ever turn your cellphone off? no...I never turn them off...atleast not at the same time.... 3. What happened at 10.am today? was teaching the year 3 class.... was angry at one boy who walked around when I was explaining something....I took his table and chair and put them outside...I told him "if You don't want to sit at your place then there are no use of this table and chair". He sat on the floor and then he gave me his full attention to win me back. 15 minutes was all he took to win my compassion and got his table and chair back. I never stayed angry for long. 4. When did you last cry? hmmm maybe when I was in primary school....I tried to cry sometimes but I just can't....I hope I can.... 5. Believe in fate/ destiny? Yes...I believe in god so I believe in fate too.......

Ohhh today was not that bad...The students seem to missed me so much but I don't really shared the same feeling hihi...maybe a little... Last night I wrote a letter to the Head... I wrote it with caution and grace that it looks like a love letter...even printed it on a pale purple paper...and the envelope looks like a wedding invitation case.... I did not delivered it yet....The headmistress was so nice today that I just don't have the heart to wound her... below is the introduction of the letter.... what a shame I did not delivered it. * Dear Madam Headmistress, I am writing this letter as a mean of communication for me to convey the thought of mind that have been hunting my sanity for quite some time now. I cannot express what I feel verbally as I respect you so much and for me to ask a favour from you would be something that I am very shy off. I am sorry for not confronting you face to face and tell you directly as you are the nicest woman I ever met and ...

oHHh gosh the weeks sure went fast. Tomorrow its school day again. work work work and work. I love teaching don't get me wrong. Yes it was not my ambition to be a teacher but I have the hang of it already. I can't imagine doing other thing than teaching but.... The big but are the other work load... I hate the clerking work....Gosh I better be a clerk if I want to do all that. I hope the new minister of education do something about it.

yes, you guessed it right..this is just another consequence of my boredom. My head feels heavy. The best thing to do now is to have a nice nap. The car is the only option but its freaking hot. Oh..by the way, I have a slytherin shirt..can't wait wearing it to harry porter's movie...

this is another post from the boredom of time. The boredom is like a curse from 'time' for all the time I'm being late to class in Uitm and for not managing my time from the beginning of my adulthood. 'time', I learnt my lesson.