aerial life

Dah mintak pertukaran..tah le dapat ke tak.....tapi perasaan ni mengatakan macm xdapat je....malas le nak mengharap sangat.....nanti Kuciwa....

the first day I was at the school was on 3rd of January 2005. It was a bright Monday. I came at 7:10 in the morning at the gate of the school. I turn back and went for a coffee in the nearest town. I was not sure if I was ready for the school or if the school was ready for me. I looked at the calling letter over and aver again. should I go on?...should I go on?.I kept asking myself. Its too late for turning back. I shouldn't went to Maktab in the 1st place...I won't have to face this if I went to Polytechnic or any other varsities.. Why didn't I went for that architecture course?...I like drawing and buildings... ...Why was I so obedience and do it?..kept asking questions with no answer..... The time was 7:20 a.m. I put all my questions to stop... paid the coffee and ride the RGV to school...The loud noise of the exhaust tank was like the echos of all the questions I bear in mind.....why? why? why? why?.... Arrived at school with ironed hard shirt and long black pants....I ...

"Muke je seram, hati taman" baru kejap ni aku dengo kat TV cite E-Toyol ...hehe sebenonye nak tulih bende laen...malam kang le tulih....

Where are my rings?... I can't control my power without them.....

The first time I lost my control over my lust was when I got the 1st credit card. I went to a PC store and saw a laptop. I already had a pc but the shining grey laptop made my eyes sparkled and my heart beat drums like its going to explode. It was like love at first sight and I cant took it out of my mind. I wondered to other stores but my head keep thinking about the laptop. Shitt I'm bedazzled and the only cure was to get the laptop in my arms and kiss it and runs my fingers on the soft keyboard. I got No cash and usually that's it, I would go home and just Imagined if I had the laptop. That day It was different. I got a card in my back pocket. I hesitated for quite some times and then swope it. I got what I want. I rode my Lagenda home like I never rode it before. I just cant wait to switch it on at home. Charging the battery for eight hours and watch dvd on it. The card was like a magic wand. I can get anything I want. That was four years ago.

If you ask me what I think of you...you'll be sad. I think you are delusional. You think people talk about you in your back. I got news for you my dear pathetic friend. We don't care that much bout you. I used to pity you. That was my biggest mistake ever. I should just let you be. Maybe you were happier that way. Now you are getting on my nerves. If you want to bad mouth me, don't do it in this park. I been here longer than you. even the trees know me. Hmm I'll do you a favor. I hope you'll be happy with it. I'll let you reign in this park. let me go find new place. You can build a circus now. you can recruit clowns, fire-eater, singing dogs, and all those that can entertain you... Good luck.. or should I say 'Good riddance'

bile aku xangkat kol dan balas msg kamu...kamu kate aku sombong,belagak...bile aku layan je kol dan msg kamu..kamu kate aku bg harapan..bile aku xterime kamu..kamu cerita kat semua org kate aku maenkan perasaan kamu la..tipu kamu la..gunakan kamu la...xpaham la aku dengan kamu ni...ok...semua tu kawan2 kamu...kamu nak burukkan aku kat mereka pun aku xkesah...bukan aku kenai sgt pun mereka...aku rase kamu ade masalah mental la...ape tah salah aku kat kamu...aku xpnah pun cakap I love U ke ape ke...aku xpnh pun kate jom kite kawen...aku xpnh pun suruh tunggu aku sampei bertahun tahun..aku xmintak pun kamu bekorban utk aku..xpnah lak aku amek kesempatan kat kamu...pegang tangan kamu pun xpnah...ehhh jumpe kamu pun 10 tahun dulu pastu tahun lepa baru terjumpe balik...lamenye kamu tgu aku...ke kamu saje nak nyasahkan aku...reka sume cite2 bohong je.....hmmmmmmmmmmmmm pompuan pompuan...misteri sungguh....xpaham aku....nasib baek la bukan semua pompuan cam ni...

people wear shields to protect their heart from getting hurt...they wear it valiantly and proudly to hide what is inside...they are some that are colorful, some have it in grey and some in blacks...usually they all look strong and well build with various shapes..but I have a fortress...made of gold and various gems...colorful and inviting...shimmering to the eyes...make you want to touch it over and over again...feel the smoothness of the wall...pretty gems mesmerizing the eyes...made you wonder what is inside..... Inside... foul thing dark as the night...serpents slithering around with hisses without stop...this fortress is not to keep what outside from coming in but to cage the wretched things inside from getting out...don't sneak in or you'll be swallow in the realm of darkness...

now... m lonely....padan muka aku...ikut perasaan sangat... xde2....aku kene jaga ego aku....hmmm baiklah mister Ego....mari kite lagi ego hahahahahahaha....sob3x... sunyinye.....

I learned that sometimes I have to loose and let time do it's magic....

hmmmmm atlast after some drama that I played now I get my moonies.....I didn't mean what I said in the previous post......ok maybe a little bit...

Oh my god....dnt say dat babe...i dont wanna loose any friends of mine....even though u keep ur identity a secret but i feel that i must b close to u.....just reveal yourself please....all i know is that i love all my friends.... there are those that done me wrong before but i still wanna be friends with them too....in my world there is a word call ex-girlfriends but there is no Ex-friend....there are many people that i haven't contacted for so long but they don't perish in my heart....a friend is always a friend....so please forgive me if i done any wrong to you but don't neglect me from ur list of friends.... Maybe i done terrible things that made u hide urself...if i do then its a big shame for me.....dnt torment me like this....I longed to know who u really are....

I was messaging Pepatung and suddenly we talked about eggs. That reminded me of my little brother. I and my younger brother were crazy about egg. We use to eat it everyday. We used to experiment cooking it. We put salt, we put this and that and so many kind of ways to cook it. Everyday there must be eggs. our mother nagged every day because no matter what she cooked we still wanted the eggs. She was fed up that she stopped buying eggs...but that didn't stopped us..we saved our school money and bought them ourselves.. she had to give up...huhu. This is the only thing we got in common...we both love egg...other than that its zero...we didn't fight, quarrel, chatting, hang out or anything at all...if he's home he will stay put in front of the laptop and download anime or movie...these are the only things that he'll do... I don't know if he has friends or girlfriends. ask him 1 question and he answer it once, ask him 10 questions he answered it 10 time....ask him more,...

Thank you nurain for giving me this award...eventhough I know I didn't reallly qualified but u made my day....I was depressed today....when i came home from work and stumble this award, i was a bit happy...thank you so much for the award.... uhh i know i have to tag some people...hmm ok....these are five blogs i want to tag.... 1) Poyotito - He always know what to write...and so 'slamber'....that's what makes his blog so cool...he's very funny too... 2) Pjoe - He knows how to convey his words.... 3) Pie - Uhhh she always updated her blog with wonderful songs... 4) Sue Anna Joe - She is an amazing artist...great photographer...and lively too... 5) Nurain - yup...she's the 1 that tagged me.....is it okay to give back the award to her?.....no harm i think....thank you for all ur attention and advice...u r always true to urself....dats what i like about you..... *** Some people that i tag did not even know me but i like reading their blog....so if they didn...

A ku xtau ape lagi aku nak cakap kat kamu....lebih kurang 9 tahun dahulu semasa pertama kali aku berjumpa dengan kamu juga memang aku tidak menaruh perasaan cinta terhadap kamu...kamu kata aku layan kamu dengan baik...tapi itu memang aku..aku melayan baik sesape sahaja...bukan kamu seorang...dan seingat aku, aku xpernah melafazkan kata cinta pada kamu.. C inta memang aneh....hampir 9 tahun kamu masih setia dengan hatimu...padahal jika dikira-kira baru sekali kamu bertemu dengan aku 9 tahun dahulu...bagaimana kamu boleh berkata kamu mencintai aku bila kamu sendiri tidak betul2 mengenali aku...hanya pada tahun ini sahaja baru kamu berani bertemu aku bermula pada bulan ramadhan yang lalu..aku berasa serba salah kerana mu....hati ku sudah menjadi milik Pepatung....dalam masa 9 tahun kamu menunggu ku...aku sudah 3 kali jatuh cinta dengan wanita yang berbeza dan 2 darinya sudah pun berkahwin malah memiliki anak..dan mereka masih menghubungi aku malah suami mereka juga sudah menjadi kawan-kaw...

A ku merasa spt aku amat kejam dan tidak bertimbang rasa....padahal aku cuba untuk menjaga hati semua orang...adakah kerana terlalu menjaga hati membuatkan aku akhirnya hanya menyusahkan semua orang?... Tidak pernah terniat dihati aku untuk menyakiti sesiapa..aku tidak pernah diajar begitu....dan sesungguhnya bukanlah hanya seorang wanita yang pernah aku sakiti tanpa sengaja...bila aku mencintai seseorang wanita itu aku akan mencintainya sepenuh jiwa dan jika wanita itu tidak aku cintai takkan pernah aku melayannya dengan buruk..... Aku bukanlah kasanova dan aku tidak mempunyai ciri-ciri playboy...aku tidak pernah mempermainkan cinta kerana cinta bagi aku adalah perkara yang suci.....adakah aku seorang yang amat teruk.....itu yang aku rasa sekarang.....aku menunggu seorang wanita yang belum pasti mencintai aku dan aku juga ditunggu oleh seorang wanita yang tidak aku cintai...aku tidak benci 'dia'....perkataan itu sama sekali tidak ada di dalam hati aku....bagaimana dengan ...

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri kepada semua....gamba ni amek kat sini je...xpandai le nak edit2 gamba ni......Ohhhh Minta Maaf Zahir & Batin.....mane le tau kot ade tersilap bahase atau kate yg terase......

From the back.left. Shah,Mal,rahim.fendy,ejat from left at the front me,mizan wahh old picture when i was still thin..hoho...i took a look at my friendster account and stumble on this picture...was taken at lumut when i did my PPL..i almost forgot what I endure then...not quite like me..people said I'm like an elephant because i never forget but now this proove them wrong... Actually i never forget this moment...its just in another box of my mind that i haven't look in years...like the header of this blog...Boxes of life...yes and this is like one of the box that i'm opening now... All the people in this picture used to be my click in college..it's strange how we can be friends with each other when all of us were differents in personalities...anyway there were sweet and bitter time together.... I grow attached to them as they always treat me as their little brother...maybe i had that younger brother kind of attitude or just not matured yet hahaha....yeah have to admit ...

is it a curse?....donno Y...after i'm wit u i dnt hav heart for love anymore....hmmm did u curse me or something?....we used to be the 'bestest' of friends...then we trap ourselves in love...ohhh yes we hav fun and everything...then u said "we'r better off as friends than lover...uhhh wat a fool i m just 2 believe u....now i lost my heart...its not warmth pink anymore...its grey now.. Hmmm d account dat makes me so wry is when i didn't just lost u as a lover but u r fading as the 'bestest' frens too....ohhh i dont want dat....we were like the reflection of each other...what we think as fun is d same...we share the same tots n we can argue calmly without fighting... Y didn't u tell me dat u were jealous of my girl-friends...yes they r girls and they r my friends but they were not my girlfriends...dont u pretend that u dont miss me...i kno u r...wat will we b to each other now?...hmmm mayb if u hav a boyfren now...then i can go on wit my li...

hellooooo....cik pa..anas masuk kan gambo kat cni khas untuk tatapan cik pa....kalo xleh tgk lg xtau le nak buat ape dah...mms xleh, ym xleh...kalo ini pun xleh cikpa balik kuale le tgk heheheeh....kan anas dah cakap mcm muke anas mase kecik,,,hmmm xsgke lak ade jgk baby yg secomel anas wahahahahaha....kama cakap"kat market tu byk lg bakul"..hehehehe dengki le tu... this is me when i was a baby...cant u spot d resemblances? huhuhuhu.....