Depression is killing me. Help me.

Depression. I know I'm depressed but I don't know how to ask for help. My voice is unheard off. People keeps treating me the same. I moved to new workplace. Not because I hate the old workplace but I want to start a new but the same feeling crept out of its cave and sit in the throne of my mind. Everything in a mess. Figuratively and literally. My room is a mess and I just don't clean it. My mind is in a mess and I can't clean it. Please, if someone read this blog and actually know me in real life. Don't mention anything what you read here. Your so called pity or judgement just going to make it worst. Nobody reads this blog anymore and I know it. I haven't post anything for a long time. At least nothing good. I'm writing now just to let things out of my chest. I hope that no matter what state of mind I'm in, it won't affect my relationship with my mother. I hope she is happy. Always happy. I don't want to worry her. I'm still standing because I need to be strong for my mother. Let me be miserable but God please let her be happy. I will hide this depression and show my grateful happy face in front of her... God, please help me. Please give me the courage, strength and patient to face all my trouble. God, please show me the way to get rid of all my problem. Help me with my debt, health and the sound of mind... let me always be calm...

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