aerial life

Years ago I said I want to change. Yet I am still the same. I forgot every wishes and resolution when luck is by my side. Now that luck has runs out, bad things fall upon me like rain after a long hot dry drought. No where to run anymore. Have to face them head on. Like a charging hornless bull. It is going to hurt badly. Very badly. It is the consequences I have to take. I cannot blame it on others even if I wanted to.

I watched "The confession of a shopaholic for the second time now. The 1st was long ago. Ok, not that long, not when dragons and witches flew in the sky and trample fear to the village folks. EHH...why did I wrote that hahahahahaha.....maybe cause my head's feel heavy now and the pillows and the bed behind me whispering my name now....hohoho I'll be off to the slumber land after I click the 'publish post'...have this urge to write now...huhuhuhu..Ooo i'm out of the topic haha....Ok, I'll start all over again.... It's a shame to admit that I am a shopaholic. I thought this kind of sickness only infects women but I was wrong. Totally wrong. I felt the pleasure of holding something newly bought in my hands. I felt the joy of trying and testing the gadgets in stores. I felt the relieved when the salesman packed up the thing I bought....I felt great when I got those wrapped new things on my hands. The world became a happier place at those time I swapped thos...

hmmmm makin lame makin sengal.....

eat me and throw me away.... sebenonye xde maksud pape pun...dah lame xpegang kamera...rase bersalah kat kamera....gambo2 dlm blog asyik tangkap gune phone je....dah lame xpegang nak tgkap gambo 1 ni pun jenuh sampei 7 shots baru dapat ape yang nak....hmmmm nak pi KL nih....maleh sebenonye tapi kesian lak ade kawan ajok....

orang kate membazir amalan syaitan...jadi malam ni aku serupa syaitan....ishhhhhhhhhhhh camane le le aku leh membazir................... I came back from school at 4.30.....I tried to stay awake eventho I was so tired...(I am still with a fever and terrible flu)..I hope its not the H1N1....never heard of it anywhere near me so the possibility is not high...anyway, at 5.30pm I just cant keep my eyes from glued together...people say that its not good to sleep after Asar.....I woke up at 7pm...I donno what happened but as soon as I woke up I wanted the new nokia express music....It was like the devil carved it in my head...I took a shower and did my prayer...my heart still wanted the phone....I determined not to follow the devil's whisper.....Its 8pm and I was in front of the PC wanted to update the blog...I wanted to write about why people say not to sleep after Asar and I experienced something weird when I woke up...I surfed the web to look for the phone picture.....I read the funct...

Standing over the edge of sanity...no, not really but It is a difficult time now... All my life I have always want to be just ordinary. I had never chased over the spotlight...I chide away when I see it beaming over me. Ohh and I done a great job of it. Since school I have been a nobody. I worked back stage all the time and let others took the credits. I smiled when I saw them blushed taking the credits of my work. Nowadays I hate it. It happen in the school I teach now. At first I don't really care. Spotlights make me sweats anyway but there are too much work now....My shoulders feel tired and my lips are numb to pretend the smiles...If they want to take credits then they should do the jobs themselves. Hmmmm I must practice saying NO.

the first day I was at the school was on 3rd of January 2005. It was a bright Monday. I came at 7:10 in the morning at the gate of the school. I turn back and went for a coffee in the nearest town. I was not sure if I was ready for the school or if the school was ready for me. I looked at the calling letter over and aver again. should I go on?...should I go on?.I kept asking myself. Its too late for turning back. I shouldn't went to Maktab in the 1st place...I won't have to face this if I went to Polytechnic or any other varsities.. Why didn't I went for that architecture course?...I like drawing and buildings... ...Why was I so obedience and do it?..kept asking questions with no answer..... The time was 7:20 a.m. I put all my questions to stop... paid the coffee and ride the RGV to school...The loud noise of the exhaust tank was like the echos of all the questions I bear in mind.....why? why? why? why?.... Arrived at school with ironed hard shirt and long black pants....I ...

student "sir you're very hardworking..." Silverleaf "No I'm not....m just like any other teacher in this school" I am lying....the other are all lazy bumps no gooder pirates.....hahahahah I am in my most stressful mood.... the Jemaah Nazir are coming....yup I used 'are'....there will be more than a person and they will even camp here....common just shoot me with a cannon..... Why am I so stressful?.....put on my shoes and you'll understand..... I teach from year 1 until year 6.....I got six classes and three subjects in my schedule. In a day I teach around 8 periods and I teach two SBT classes and one year six extra class....I am the head of panitia and Ko-ku....worse than that I'm also the the ICT teacher and The Data teacher....I do The SBT data...The SMM,SSDM,BMM and many more..... WAITTA MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It sounded like m being bullied....SHITTTT!!!!! Why didn't I realized this earlier?.....an elder tea...

OOOOOhhhhhhh My Godddd!!! I lost my Roxio photosuite..damnnnn!!!!! I formatted the laptop.... now i have to use adobe photoshop....I'm not that good with adobe..I forgot how to or what to....I love the roxio....been using the roxio since my 5th semester in maktab...its almost 6 years now....hmmmmmmmmmm gotta find books on adobe now....i got it but donno where I throw it...here see the picture above....its adobe...how ugly it is.........I forgot how....

Where are my rings?... I can't control my power without them.....

I'm single...yes I am...hello ladies in the world...I am a single man....come grab me now when my sanity is still intact..... I do not know where my stand is. I am a lover but the girl I love do not seem to love me back. This must be the great wheel that everybody is talking about. KARMA. I had so many affairs before and I played my role fairly good but in the end its the heartbreak for the women. My heart won't stand still to a woman. Its always wondered away to the other but this time its sit still near one heart. A heart that I could not tame.

It is not easy to control your irritation, cover them in front of public, acting like you don't care when you are irritated. I do all these thing because I do not want to smear the relationship but in my heart its like a vine of thorns wrap around the heart. The grip of the thorny vine become tighter and tighter for every split second and for a time its going to blow up the heart. Blood rushing out from the punctured holes made by the thorns and sprayed around the canvas of life making it bloody ugly.

If I ever mutated I do not want a change of body parts. I want the power of seducing.

I got news for you....physical beauty would not last forever...Don't flaunt your red petals so much and brag about it...There will be days where you regret what you did...

aku rase ari ni buruk bagi aku...bukan maksud aku cuaca buruk atau alam ni buruk....alam ciptaan tuhan memang indah...hari yang tidak hujan juga indah.... balik tadi aku seronok tp tak sangka boleh jadi tak seronok lak sekarang ni...aku dah rancang nak tengok wayang cerite race to the witch mountain....kul 9.20 memng waktu yang bagus...tapi balik tadi ketak!! ape tah kene kat kereta aku...aku tak langgar ape pun...aku sangat berhati-hati...aku keluar tengok....tak de pape pun....singgah pergi petronas nak beli Lipton green tea...pastu dalam perjalanan balik dari situ aku dengar bunyi kat kereta lagi macam kipas...aku berenti tepi jalan...tengok sane sini...takde pape pun....teruskan lagi perjalanan....takde pape dah bunyi..... sampai rumah....tengok lagi kereta...hmmm ade calar skit...tapi kene ape tah...hmmmmm hari ni dah jadi tak best......rase macm tak nak pegi tgk wayang je..... merepek je aku kat sini, menulis perkare yang tak menarik minat oarang...ohhh tapi memang aku tak menuli...

I'm very busy.... It started two weeks ago...and still going on...I cannot catch up with all the assignment... I missed a test... School works have not been completed... I am wry... I'm going berserk...

bile cinta xberbalas boleh menjadi benci...kat tv pun selalu tunjuk macm tu...bile cinta yang diberi xberbalas bermacam balasan yang yang diperlakukan oleh hati yang luka....walopun hanya drama TV tp ade kebenarannye..... Bagaimanakah menghadapinye? patutkah yang dibenci hanya duduk diam xberkata ape?....hmmmm tp kalo benci yang datang dri perasaan sayang ni selalunye berlarutan sampai mati....aku harap aku xkan ade perasaan macam ni...xtergamak aku nak membenci...hanya akan membusukkan hati aku...bile hati dah busuk orang pun akan lari...orang akan dapat menghidu bau busuk tu dan xkan tertahan....bile hati dah busuk adekah amalan kite diterima tuhan?.....aku pun xtau la nak menjawab persoalan ini...aku bukan orang yang alim.... selalunye bile seseorang dah membenci kerane cinta ni susah nak diubati...xkire walo ape pun yang dibenci buat untuk mengubatnye........hanya tuhan yang dapat membuka hati yang membenci untuk berubah.... sabar......jawapannye sabar le kot....sabar dan jangan me...

Stop! stop! It's not cool pathetic, pathetic. Don't try to look cool you end up being pathetic.

bile aku xangkat kol dan balas msg kamu...kamu kate aku sombong,belagak...bile aku layan je kol dan msg kamu..kamu kate aku bg harapan..bile aku xterime kamu..kamu cerita kat semua org kate aku maenkan perasaan kamu la..tipu kamu la..gunakan kamu la...xpaham la aku dengan kamu ni...ok...semua tu kawan2 kamu...kamu nak burukkan aku kat mereka pun aku xkesah...bukan aku kenai sgt pun mereka...aku rase kamu ade masalah mental la...ape tah salah aku kat kamu...aku xpnah pun cakap I love U ke ape ke...aku xpnh pun kate jom kite kawen...aku xpnh pun suruh tunggu aku sampei bertahun tahun..aku xmintak pun kamu bekorban utk aku..xpnah lak aku amek kesempatan kat kamu...pegang tangan kamu pun xpnah...ehhh jumpe kamu pun 10 tahun dulu pastu tahun lepa baru terjumpe balik...lamenye kamu tgu aku...ke kamu saje nak nyasahkan aku...reka sume cite2 bohong je.....hmmmmmmmmmmmmm pompuan pompuan...misteri sungguh....xpaham aku....nasib baek la bukan semua pompuan cam ni...

Dear enemy, I know what you are trying to do. I am not as stupid as you think I am. I destroyed people like you long before you ever hated me. I am sorry to say that destroying you is going to be fun. This is a dangerous game you are playing. Let me remind you that I am a master of this game. You should tremble going against me. Why are you doing all this? Haven't you see what I can do? Have you learn nothing? and by the way, stop hiding under that sheep clothing. I could smell your awful odor from far. The mask you are wearing is ridiculous. You do need to brush up on your acting skills. If you had observed what I did before then you could play the same trick. I am happy to tell you that I am anxious for your challenge. I have not using my finest craft yet. This will be the chance for me to full use my skills. ...