the most hideous monster

I been lazying around this holiday. I haven't do anything sensible to life. Ooohhh but is just so me..doing nothing is my specialty...its a talent or hmmm should I say a curse. I let my life to this boring path and babble about them on and on again.

I watched a lot of movies on the laptop. I got them all from a friend. A friend that had just had his day of happiness. He go engaged last week and I photographed the happiest day of his life for now. The happiest day going to be the wedding day but that is a year to wait. I have to say I hate weddings...not hate like hate, more to envy actually. My girlfriend or if she could be called a girlfriend don't want to get married yet or at least maybe not to me just yet. How more pathetic could i get ohhh yes very pathetic indeed. A man like me have been push away once to many. Maybe I should start looking around now. I have not been doing that since I met her. I don't think I'm hideous enough for the girls to run and scream. Ohh if I could compliment myself I would say I'm rather charming. Ohh gosh don't make the face now. where else can I be praised if it's not I myself who praised me. YES its pathetic and I know it.

Pathetic...I used that word too often now...Ohhh gosh maybe That is why I have not been hooked for quite a while now.

Nahhh....I could swept any girl from their stands but that doesn't mean that those girls can make me floating..... since I met her no other girls have achived making me sweats just to pick clothes on a date. Yes that is how I know she's the one but all this while I can't see any signal that tells me I'm the one for her.....

Love.... the most complicated thing on earth....