Thursday, July 30, 2009

Pertukaran.......


Dah mintak pertukaran..tah le dapat ke tak.....tapi perasaan ni mengatakan macm xdapat je....malas le nak mengharap sangat.....nanti Kuciwa....

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Stupid me...






the first day I was at the school was on 3rd of January 2005. It was a bright Monday. I came at 7:10 in the morning at the gate of the school. I turn back and went for a coffee in the nearest town. I was not sure if I was ready for the school or if the school was ready for me. I looked at the calling letter over and aver again.

should I go on?...should I go on?.I kept asking myself.
Its too late for turning back. I shouldn't went to Maktab in the 1st place...I won't have to face this if I went to Polytechnic or any other varsities..

Why didn't I went for that architecture course?...I like drawing and buildings... ...Why was I so obedience and do it?..kept asking questions with no answer.....

The time was 7:20 a.m.
I put all my questions to stop... paid the coffee and ride the RGV to school...The loud noise of the exhaust tank was like the echos of all the questions I bear in mind.....why? why? why? why?....

Arrived at school with ironed hard shirt and long black pants....I wore my lucky shirt and my favourite necktie. Walk straight to the office. It was still close. Haaa?... I thought the ofice should be open by now....the children around me were puzzled looking at a young smart man...(perasan smart tapi memang remaja lagi mase tuh). There were few teachers in the teacher's room...I asked the teacher and they brought me to see the Headmistress...at 7.40 the bell rang and there was an assembly. I introduced myself....everyone was excited..I was not... They said they thought I was a mamak cause of my name..my name does sound like a mamak's name....there was another malay man there...a teacher too....he's around 40 something...the first day thing he do was cursing the school...until now he still curse the school....he was never happy with the school....

I was like a chameleon....I change my colour according to the surrounding...I was well acepted...I thought The school is okay...but now I am like that 40+ year old teacher.....cursing everytime I step in the school ground..........

AND WHY?

Because......

everything....

number 1...RESPECT....
I been so patient....how would you feel?...when you're in a meeting and people are talking a language that you could not understand a thing..the only thing you could caught is your name is mention but you don't know why or what is it all about....The only time they speak in a tongue that you could is when they want you to do something....

number 2.....Fairness...
I hold 75percent of the responsibilities in school...I'm not just the teacher...I'm the clerk, office boy, dispatch and the laborer....

Goshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm so mad I have to stop writing now....BYE...for now..

hurt...

I never thought myself of being racist...I tried not to be racist...If anyone said I'm racist then he must be out of his mind...not that anyone said that yet...but......I am the victim of racism.................. I got a meeting in few minutes so I wont be able to write what I really want to....I'll continue later...

..........................................................................................................................................................................


video

Now this was the meeting....tell me how many percent of it you could understand and then you know my workplace atmosphere................................................................................................................

Monday, July 27, 2009

anger burns like hell............

student "sir you're very hardworking..."

Silverleaf "No I'm not....m just like any other teacher in this school"

I am lying....the other are all lazy bumps no gooder pirates.....hahahahah

I am in my most stressful mood.... the Jemaah Nazir are coming....yup I used 'are'....there will be more than a person and they will even camp here....common just shoot me with a cannon.....

Why am I so stressful?.....put on my shoes and you'll understand.....

I teach from year 1 until year 6.....I got six classes and three subjects in my schedule. In a day I teach around 8 periods and I teach two SBT classes and one year six extra class....I am the head of panitia and Ko-ku....worse than that I'm also the the ICT teacher and The Data teacher....I do The SBT data...The SMM,SSDM,BMM and many more.....

WAITTA MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It sounded like m being bullied....SHITTTT!!!!! Why didn't I realized this earlier?.....an elder teacher here always said that I'm a goody two shoes...now I know why......

This is it.....The full stop of everything.......I'll march tomorrow morning to the Headmistress office and told her OFF.....

I always thought that she's the nicest old gal I seen....CRAPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!! that is her tactic......pretending to be nice....She's using me.............................how blind have I been....

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mm
mm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmm
..............

Hmmmm I don't have the heart to accuse her like that...maybe she is nice....maybe she didn't realize what she had done.....maybe...maybe its just that she trust me so much that she didn't realize that she had put mount Olympus on my shoulder........

I do have few things that i like bout the school....I do have some privileges...I can go out anytime I want...i eat outside all the time....I could just go out anytime I want to even just to buy newspaper...I could....could....could...Hmmmmm Thats it.....ehhhh is it really it?....hmmmmmmm.............. I don't know....I should sleep on it before making any decision ...

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Damnn it!!

OOOOOhhhhhhh My Godddd!!! I lost my Roxio photosuite..damnnnn!!!!! I formatted the laptop....

now i have to use adobe photoshop....I'm not that good with adobe..I forgot how to or what to....I love the roxio....been using the roxio since my 5th semester in maktab...its almost 6 years now....hmmmmmmmmmm gotta find books on adobe now....i got it but donno where I throw it...here see the picture above....its adobe...how ugly it is.........I forgot how....

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Mean and sarcastic......

Objective: Are you mean and sarcastic? Have you ever answered people ‘meanly’ and sarcastically? If yes, show us how mean and sarcastic you are! If no, then you should try at least once in your life with this note.

Rule: Respond to these as sarcastic/mean as you could. (YR stands for Your Response.)

Note: I took the tag from " http://ginny-uninterrupted.blogspot.com/ "....It looks fun so here are my response........


If an annoying person says:
1) I am cute.
YR: as cute as my armpit.


2) I am the most beautiful/handsome.
YR: Yup, among the apes.


3) See, everyone likes me because I am rich and famous!
YR: we like your money...


4) Unlike you, I am perfectly multi-skilled. I do everything very well from sports to academic thingy.
YR: so?.....


5) You don’t know me? I am Bruneian artist; I have albums.
YR: Ohhhh photo albums?...Everyone in Malaysia has atleast 1...

If an annoying hot woman/man says:

1) I know you like me.
YR: who are you again?...


2) What are you looking at? I am not interested in you!
YR: sorry, I was measuring how thick your make up is.....


3) Sorry, you are nice but seriously not my type!
YR: I know. I'm too good for you.


4) UNLESS you are rich, then don’t dream that I will get a ride with you!
YR: Oh oh don't get me wrong... I was looking for a security guard and you look meaner than a dog.


5) Look, I am pretty/handsome; I can make people hate you!
YR: How can you do that?...they already hate you...

If an annoying extremely ugly woman/man says:

1) I think you and I can make a good couple.
YR: only if you're the last woman on earth and you put a pistol on my head.


2) May I have your cell phone? Please please please?
YR: Oh oh You must got it wrong...I'm not a gigolo....


3) Hi, wanna hang out? I want you to be with me the whole night.
YR: you should drug me then beat me to a pulp before you ask...


4) What do you like about me?
YR: is there anything to like?


5) I want you to say that I am pretty/handsome and you like me sooooo much!
YR: I am sober right now....

If your enemy says:

1) Hi bitch!
YR: Ohhh excuse me....were you calling your girlfriend?


2) You smell like shit!
YR: Shit smells like roses compared to you....


3) What an ugly creature you are!
YR: can you speak in human language I don't understand pig's language...


4) I am going to kick your ass in this race for sure!
YR: Your feet are not that long to kick me on the winning stage....


If your annoying ex says:

1) I still love you...
YR: I love me too...


2) I know you still love me!
YR: delusional....


3) Please, go back with me honey/hubby.
YR: I don't want to make mistake twice...It was the happiest time when we broke off..I thought I was dead and went to heaven.


4) Please call me...
YR: My phone can't dial your number......


5) The break up hurt me so much.
YR: Not for me....I love it....

If an annoying salesperson says:

1) Wow! You are so pretty/handsome!
YR: I know...


2) Seriously, I used this product and I've changed!
YR: Poor you...look what it have done to you....


3) We are giving a discount up to 50%!
YR: REALLY!!!!!...WOW!!!! I don't care.....


4) This one is good sir/madam. Buy sir/madam, buy.
YR: here take this (10cent) ...shooshhh go away....


***

Done.

Ooooooo its not that easy...now I know its not easy to throw sarcasm.....if this is a test, i think i failed.....

ohhh yeah if anyone wants to be tag then just tag yourself and do it..I like to read what you can come out with......

Friday, July 24, 2009

Baa baa Black sheep.......

The image was goggled and taken from "http://www.hecklerspray.com/date/2007/11"


Baa baa black sheep
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir
Three bags full.
One for my master,
One for my dame,
And one for the little boy
Who lives down the lane.


One to the master,
One to the dame,
And one to the little boy
Who lives down the lane.


Baa baa black sheep
Have you wool today?
No sir, no sir
I’ve given it away.
A bag to my master,
A bag to my dame,
A bag to the little boy
Who lives down the lane.

One to the master
One to the dame,
And one to the little boy
Who lives down the lane.



Its been a few days since I wrote anything here. No, I did not go for BTN too...hehe...

The black sheep is back in town....Its not nice to label him that but its the most accurate words to describe him.

By him I mean my elder brother. I don't know if I should write this at all. It is like opening a big dark secret to the public. But, this is my blog and what kind of hell I had not been through all my life. Nothing can harm me in the blog sphere....

Okay, here I go...

My elder brother who is the sixth of my parents seeds is a junkie. Yup..a JUNKIE... a damn hardcore junkie...he's 32 now and he's been in this state of the dead for more than 10 years now. Yes he caused trouble for everybody in the family for far too many to count....

We gave him chances and chances and chances and chances to change skin but it had always been disappointing. And now, one more chance for him to change. He just got relieved from the rehab for his second time and everybody hope this time the rehab bleached his wretched dirty soul and let him loose on a greener path.

I was amazed on how everybody is so optimistic about this. I still got this kind of uncertainty in me. I played it cool. I have always know how to act optimistic even when my mind is taking the other road. I put on the masks of smile and laughter and trust that even I believed me too. I pretend too much that I forgot which is the reality and which is fiction.

I do not hate him, I pity him but there is a kind of feeling when my trust had been trample over and over and over and over again that there is insecurity that built like a wall of stones and steal to protect the soft spot. It will takes months before the barrier is down.

Its been a week. Yes a week and I was right not to put my guard down.

All this while he played the repentant sinner act so well that the family believed in him. He got everything he needs. Money, vehicle, trust and everything nice but it seem that all of these were not enough for him. Not to my great surprise I caught him red handed smoking weeds in the store room...Yup...a week...just a week...only a week....six days, 16 hours and 24 minutes to be exact and he done it again.

I did not felt angry...nop I didn't.....

I did not gave him a fist to the face...nop I didn't.....

I did not scold him till his ears bleed.....nop I didn't........

I did nothing. nothing at all because two years in the rehab have done no good and nothing good can be done by me that time too.....

One thing I gave him....The look....yup the look.....

I do not have the heart to tell my father about this.... It will break his heart again...after we mend it with tender I can't let it break again.....he's old now....72years old....If anyone is reading this....tell me....tell me what to do.......please....I beg of you.........

Saturday, July 18, 2009

You pulled too strong...


"When I can't untangled the entangled string I cut it and tied it back, but it wont be as strong. The knot can be loosen if pulled too strong" - Legonas Silverleaf

Friday, July 17, 2009

Off to Pangkor...

Yeay yeay a picnic..... bye.......................

Lost my macho...


Ohhh a girl can really change a man.

I remembered I laughed at a friend who had pink phone. He was a rugby player with brutal looking face and black skin. Its hilarious when he took out his mobile phone out from the pink fury pouch and put that pink phone to his ear. It almost killed me.

How did he became like that?

His girlfriend made him.

Now I'm laughing at myself. I'm becoming cheesy myself. I would never buy that solar pod with dragonfly swinging on it a year ago. I would have laugh seeing it in a friend's car. Ohhhhh Lady dragonfly.......I remembered her when I saw that thing swinging on the shelf of the stall and I bought it....Now I hope that pink phone friend won't bumped into me with this thing in the car.

Love is crazy.....

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Nothing much to tell....

My biggest weakness is the ability to remember the route and places I been. I always got lost no matter anywhere. I remembered I was lost in Komtar. Its not that big of place but I can't find the way out for a long time until I bumped to someone I knew and followed her out. Yup.. even in small place like komtar. I lived in Penang for three years before and I still get lost till now. I did my internship in SK Wellesly for three months and after the three months I got to take something from the school...guess what?...I don't know the way.......don't need to talk about Penang. I got lost in Ipoh so many times too. The only way I know is to go to Jusco. Imagined that...I been to Ipoh hundreds of time and I still can't remember the route. So, its really rare for me to go somewhere far alone.

This might be the complication from too much sleep....sleeping is one of my hobbies.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

best lak ayat TV

"Muke je seram, hati taman"

baru kejap ni aku dengo kat TV cite E-Toyol...hehe sebenonye nak tulih bende laen...malam kang le tulih....

Import export

I imported the post in my old blog. some of the post are not mine. There were the posts of my fellow writer.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The war between Lust and Sanity...

Do I need the battery grip or is it just my lust to have this thing intact to my alpha body. It would feel nice holding the alpha with bigger part and I can swing it any way I wanted to. My oh my.......what a sexy thing to have on the alpha.

Ohhh my lust towards it will drive me insane but I don't really need this. My battery can uphold to 750 shots and till now I'm satisfied. Ohhhhhhhhh.......but I do need to have backup like this..... who knows maybe I'll be running out of batt when I really need it.......

Hmmmmmmmm I'll have to make decission using the BRAIN not LUST......my oh my....How to erase this lust from my soul...

Selamat Menjawab Percubaan UPSR !!!

The fat boy is cheating... (I'm in the class now..the technology of wireless). Bad luck for him I got sharp eyes and good hearing...


can a man and a woman be just friend?

nope....they can't...maybe yes until one of them got married...maybe in some rare cases there are people of difference gender just become friends but not in my case...

I got this woman-friend who I was closed with. She is the nice person kind of a lady. A goody two shoes. Not my taste of girl but some one I can be close to as friend(Am I explaining too long). Let us say that we just do not have the attraction to each other as a couple. We belong as friend and that's all. Maybe we got a thingy before but every time I was free she got some one and vice versa until the day where I was free and she got engaged. We were closed but we know where the line is and we never crossed that line(I think I'm babbling and no one would understand me now). We were closed and her family knows me and I was like the family friend.

One day she got engaged and I was fine with that and we still remained friends. The day she got married everything changes. I started to shy away because as a man I know what a man would feel seeing his wife closed to another man. She do not wants to break our friendship and so do I. The husband got very jealous and pity her he gave bad remarked to her. She never told me about it but some friends told me that she had been telling them her internal saga of conflicts because of the jealousy. So, now I hide away from her and breaking the ties just to let her live in peace. I did it because I am a friend and I care of her happiness. She sought after me but I need to live in stealth mode from her. I hope her marriage life is in peace now with me out of the picture.

I lost a good friend. I hope maybe one day when I got married and with children of my own I would bump into them and we can all be friends together.

Monday, July 13, 2009

The Bridge of lights

I just love this picture. I shot this bridge a long time ago. It wasn't from a compact or dslr, I shot it with my Motorola V3i cell phone. That's why I love the cell phone. It can take beautiful pictures with its low pixel.

I use a Nokia now. With its 3.2 megapixel it still can't beat the Motorola 1.3mp.....and the night shot is really bad....

Sejarah mungkin berulang...

(muke bile xshave seminggu)

aku dah lame xjenguk akaun friendster aku...2 hari lepas aku bukak dan tuko primary photo....malam tu aku bukak lagi aku terkejut banyok beno comments, add and ade lak orang message....selame ni kalo dah lame xbukak pun xde sape pun add atau msg....tapi ape yang aku terkejut adelah sbb satu name yang aku nanmpak add aku......name yang sangat aku ingat.....Xgirl lame.....siap gambo dier ngan anak dier lagi.....memule aku terpikir jugak nak deny je tapi aku approve jugak....siap ade msg....ade ke leh tanye.."kenal lagi x?"....

Memule aku xnak balas tapi lets bygone be bygone so aku reply le.....dan sakitnye ati aku reply sebab dier xreply balik dah...aku tgk status dier baru 24jam jadi mesti dier dah bace....HMMMM patutnye aku reject je....xde le aku terbukak bukak friendster setiap 2 jam nak tgk dier reply ke tak......

Sunday, July 12, 2009

New day new lies....

Mind the title of this entry... I just felt like writing but had nothing in mind.

I put on a new picture for the header...It was taken by a friend and it's the only picture that I don't look saggy and plump... haha....

I just want to thank padlah and shah for all their comments. I really appreciated them.

Its half past three and I'm sitting in front of the pc now wasting the taste of a nice sleep...I just can't sleep and I don't really have anything to write. I am babbling yes I know....hahahaha its like My mind is block....I just don't know what to write...Ohhh I should stop now before I drive anyone crazy....good bye...

P/S..Oh my sister is up too....she's reading a book for her class tomorrow....Rajin beno kakak aku ni.... kontra betoi ngan aku.....

Saturday, July 11, 2009

sejarah untuk tahun ini.....

I don't really remember the correct date....I can look at the summon but I'm too lazy to fetch it now.

I was riding my motorcycle to town. I didn't have my car yet then. I met with a road block by JPJ. I thought that I had no worries because I had everything. I got the license and my roadtax was still new. I was dead wrong. The officer was finding fault with everything. He checked my plate number. He measured the front plate. He said "Nombot pendaftaran ni tak ikut skala yang ditetapkan".....I said that I never changed the plate since the day I drag out that bike from the shop but he wasn't really care to hear what I said. He said " Camane nak setel ni?"...He's asking for bribery... I was angry....I never bribe any officer before and I hate when anyone asks me for a bribe.... So I said to his face....."kalo nak saman, saman je la nape nak banyak cakap plak"....Goshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that's a stupid move. He issued the sommon.

I didn't take haste on paying it and a 'warran tangkap' was released. I didn't reallise that till I asked a friend to pay the summon for me.

So I had to go to the court. The stupid court.

I never could guessed that with a small mistake like that I could end up in the court. It's just the plate number my god sake... How can they issued a warrant for my head just for that small thing.

This is just the LAW of human. It is surely not perfect and just.

We just have to live with it.....

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Rings

Where are my rings?...

I can't control my power without them.....

The first time in life....

In my whole life I haven't got trouble with the law. not that I'm a goody two shoes but because I never got caught and all the mishaps I did were well hidden.

Today I went to the Magistrate court for a trial. the first time I been in front of a judge.

Luckily I'm a good liar. I just got fine of RM50. Alhamdulillah.....




Thursday, July 2, 2009

single...

I'm single...yes I am...hello ladies in the world...I am a single man....come grab me now when my sanity is still intact.....

I do not know where my stand is. I am a lover but the girl I love do not seem to love me back. This must be the great wheel that everybody is talking about. KARMA.

I had so many affairs before and I played my role fairly good but in the end its the heartbreak for the women. My heart won't stand still to a woman. Its always wondered away to the other but this time its sit still near one heart. A heart that I could not tame.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Weight loss...

This was my weight when I was In Maktab. My Ideal weight for my height.

Now its not ideal. I am trying to loose some weight now. I eat the same but need to exercise.

It is nice to be alone sometimes...

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